The future is clear in its uncertainty, finally. The plans I have are so vague and incoherent that I'm being realistic about my expectations for the first time in my life--I don't know what to expect. All of the various facets of my life are in the process of slowly disintegrating into chaos. They now depend mostly on the unfolding of events beyond my control. I am in a sort of lovely limbo right now, where I'm preparing to disengage from my mostly comfortable life. Life is about to become significantly more difficult for me in the time following the next few months. I won't die, but I'll be struggling with all sorts of demons both internal and external. I'm going to have to create myself in that time, because I've sort of slept-walked through the years where I was supposed to be finding myself.  ¶ 12:45 PM